Today a boy actually told me that the fact that I date girls is a real turn-off for guys and that I will never find a boyfriend. He was being entirely serious and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed in someone’s face so hard.
This is real. I was incredibly shy until my senior year of high school where I started to realize I could be a person. And then I went to college and I tried to change myself. I achieved, but now I’m just an incredibly outgoing introvert.
Really, it’s my fear of missing out that drives me to be social… I actually hate being social and going out with people, unless they are one of my select few best friends.
I cut everyone off once I stop seeing them daily. I mean, it’s never on purpose. I just don’t want to talk on the phone, and who really has the desire to text people? Not me. So, no more friends in Wappingers, and not too many friends from college. And, from the beginning I never saw my friends from grad school making it farther than graduation, I just needed them for the year I was here.
I’ll flirt with every guy I meet, but the idea of actually getting to know a guy and date him terrifies me to the point of jumping in my bed, covering my face, and throwing my phone against a wall (been there, done that).
And yes, my outgoing personality and my shy personality are BOTH ME. Neither one is fake. I am not two faced, I am just an outgoing introvert.